What's love got to do with it?

Love; For centuries the greatest minds have sought to understand the emotion so powerful and possessive that some say it's madness. But none have reached even a working definition. Then again, in summation of my past relationships, I think it is safe to say love is undeniably a good bit of madness.

According to biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, love has a profound effect on the brain. Whether we're happily in love, or suffering a broken heart, love is on our mind; It is what we center our very existence around. Love for people, love for places, love for things. Plato was indeed correct over 2000 years ago when he mused that "love is a need."

No doubt, as February dawns near, Valentine's Day brings about reflection of the relationships in our lives, or lack thereof. Though I seek to label none with a stereotype, I'd venture to say that even the most determined singles find beautiful displays of chocolate covered romance appealing; It truly feels like love is in the air. But what is love really? Four people contributed their own ideas to define this complex word.

Love = Commitment

"Love is being committed to another person," said UH Hilo student Breanna King. "It's being able to take all of their good personality traits, and all of the things that might drive you a little bit crazy, and accepting it all as being part of that person… It's about having the same goals together, having the same ideas to share together and then not being afraid to let the differences get in the way of the relationship."

Love = Trust

"Love is a couple steps above being friends," said UH Hilo student Harold Bechtold. "When you have a friend, you trust them and respect them; and its two way street. After a certain point you can get past that to the next level of trust and respect with your friend, and that's when it turns into love, because at that point, you both would do anything for each other."

Love = Headache

Student Betsy Kimura shared her thoughts on the flip side of the universal currency. "For me love is a headache," said Kimura. "I think there is more love in a community sometimes than there is at home. There isn't that much love nowadays, like there used to be. People don't care about each other. They don't."

And finally:

Love = Family

"What is love? Love is family," said student Jodi Kaaneakua. "You know when there is something [hard] happening with certain family members, other family comes in and all of a sudden, they take the depression or stressful thing out of your mind. Pretty soon… everything is one. Everyone is just one, as a whole."

Given the varying responses, love, as with the classic saying about beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. However, I would argue that in spite of our casual use of the word, love itself and being in love are different things altogether.

French author Louis de Bernières made the distinction some time ago. "Love is a temporary madness," he said, "it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part… Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."

English poet Geoffrey Chaucer said "love is blind," a principle Fisher agrees with based on her vast research of love and its effect on hundreds of people around the world.

"I've come to believe that romantic love is an addiction," stated Fisher, "a perfectly wonderful addiction when it's going well, and a perfectly horrible addiction when it's going poorly." Fisher's study of love and its effects on the brain showed that activity due to being happily in love occurs in the same region that reacts to a cocaine rush. "It's below your emotions. It's part of what we call the reptilian core of the brain; associated with wanting, with motivation, with focus and with craving."

In one study, Fisher asked college students several questions about love, two of which stood out in particular to the anthropologist.

Students were asked, "Have you ever been rejected by someone you really loved?" and, "Have you ever dumped somebody who really loved you?"

Almost 95 percent of men and women said yes to both questions, all who had felt the same pain and tribulations of being in love. So it would seem we know a great deal about being in love, yet have much to learn about love itself. It is a mystery that eludes us, even if science seeks to provide us with explanations.

Though unsolved and incompletely explained, love and our need for its captivation can move us to do things we would not normally do. Love changes us, breaks us, heals us and pushes us in directions often frightening and terribly risky.

So is love merely the resultant feeling of initial urges caused by the brain? Simply a craving? Is it following through with commitment, or caring about family? Is it trust, and the willingness to put your heart in someone else's hands? Or is it just a headache?

The answer is perhaps as cryptic as the question itself. As Bernières says, love itself becomes the refined product of being in love, and I, myself, would agree.