Rants and Raves (Issue 2, Spring 2011)

Rants

Can we PLEASE have some healthy food on campus. I shouldn't have to leave campus just to find something organic or made with whole grains!

To the people that talk about so-and-so looking hot, amazing or "loves to smile," come on. Posting these in the newspaper is ridiculous. I personally do not give a flying **** who you think is cute and how you want to ask him/her out or even that you want to commit adultery; that is bloody disgusting.

To the well groomed boy who tried to proposition me in the men's bathroom at the Lava Lounge: HELL NO. Not interested. Try it again and I'm reporting your a** to campus security. I have enough on my plate without having to deal with you trying to get all touchy-feely with me while I'm trying to drop one.

I don't care if you say it's only a girl, so it's not really cheating. It still hurts... You just don't get it. I never looked at anyone else, and now I don't want to look at you, either.

To whoever told the smokers to kill themselves, we are all dying. Why don't you kill yourself, and by self I mean your ego.

Why can people not say "please" and "thank you" anymore? If you don't say your pleases and thank yous, then you are one discourteous son-of-a-gun.

I ride the bus all the time and I think that you guys should let the bus come back through the campus. I can't be walking all the way up past the Campus Center just to be late for class... You guys are crazy! Hello, I wanna pass.

While I think the Christian recruiters aren't technically allowed on campus, I do appreciate that they leave me alone when I say I'm an Athiest.

I wish there was a place I could go late at night so I wouldn't have to stop studying when my roommate falls asleep. I don't want to disturb!

How can this be a university! Did anyone see the K Building bathrooms!! It's worse than high school. Shame, shame. Can't even afford seatcovers either. :(

I dislike the dad who complained about Petersen's language. You, sir, are a pile of douche.

I hate how Ke Kalahea always disses the security. They're A LOT better than the old company. And FYI: the ppl who broke into K bldg last year had their VERY OWN KEY. Where's THAT in the security column?! Blame the departments who routinely pass out keys to students!

Raves

To my very special boyfriend: you are the Clark Kent to my Lois Lane. I'll love you forever, Superman. :)

To the Financial Aid Office GIRLS! You guys are beautiful and you rock! Thanks for making things a whole lot easier. I love HAWAI`I!!!

To the girl who dances crazy in the SLC, you're kinda weird... but cool at the same time! You gooo girl!

Dear Free Energy Party Guy, I saw you yesterday, tube socks on your hands, riding like mad down Kino`ole street. Your knees and elbows were flailing about wildly as you kept pace with traffic. Obviously you have an abundance of FREE ENERGY!

Nihongo wa ichiban suki desu.

I love my loco moco. Speshully da kine with planny gravy and corn beef hash. If I like um fancy kine, I tell um put cheese on top.

Wow, the student art in the library is bomb. I am seriously impressed.

I love Little Roo shiraz. It's only four dollars a bottle and it's delightful.

To my bestest friend in the whole world. You moved halfway around the world to "expand your horizons." I guess it's okay, since now I have a reason to visit New Zealand.

GOBAMA! I love your work, Mr. President.

Dr. Qin! Critical thinking! Discover history!

Hooray janitors, for keeping the campus clean. It looks beautiful.

Thank heavens for little girls.

Hey, Suit Guy! My roommate saw you riding the bus. You rock because you care about looking classy, and about saving the environment.

Women who wear glasses are hot!

I still want to rub weed butter all over your sexy body.

Whoever invented a paper shredder that fits on top of a trashcan is a genius.

Editor's note: All Rants & Raves are submitted by readers, and do not reflect the views or beliefs of Ke Kalahea.