Rants and Raves (Issue 4, Spring 2011)

Rants

Where is the yoga lady!?!?!?!?! And why does the comic suck!?!?!?!?! Gosh, the two things I appreciate about Ke Kalahea are ruined. So, VERY sad.

To the guy who farted in the library, cover your a****** cuz it smelt like rotten daikon.

To whoever's been slam dunkin on the hoops by the old observatory by the UCB: How bout I bend you next time? Learn how to respect sports equipment, them hoops is broken.

There is GENOCIDE happening in Libya right now and all you people can care about is yourselves. This world makes me sick. Please spread awareness, and if you happen to come across that petition to send the UN to Libya for help, don't waste a second!

I'm paying this school $30,000, and they can't fix the wifi in the library? The librarian today told me to "go sit near a window, it works better there sometimes" and that UH won't be fixing it until the summer. Maybe the school should stop worrying so much about how much the NSE kids will see and experience and start focusing on the students who are here first and foremost for academics and who are paying the school good money for the facilities to work.

To the d***heads that pulled up in the middle of the night at my house and hid behind their girl friends when I asked them if they like scrap, come see me, you know where I live..

To the short Japanese kid who wears tie dye Grateful Dead shirts and has a crazy purple backpack and rides a longboard, you smell like cheese and whiskey.

If you really want a Men's Center get off your a**es and do something about it!

To the grouchy girl who works at munchies, if you don't like your job, quit!!! If not, please get laid sooonnnn.

I mizz Ugly Betty!

Hey girl, try throw your pad in the rubbish can, not in the corner of the restroom. Catch some class, sista.

Can we get someone to fix the bathrooms in K Building? It's been like two years and the same stalls are broken. You can't close the door, and it f***s you up if you have to take a dump ‘cause everyone is so gun shy they all jump in the stalls to take a piss. Both bathrooms are broken. Get on that Student Service, please.

Raves

I'm free as a bird!

I guess sometimes, you gotta grab life by the horns..... And ride it baby......RIDE IT!!!

Jew-pids, and Human Suitcases. SNL gives me a reason to stay home on a Saturday night.

DJ Miss Salvador rocks!!!! That Project Runway down at HCC was a totally amazing experience... Especially that weird hippie lady that came because she heard the music n started dancing all psycho... Cah ray zee !!! lmfao ..

Women's Center rocks my socks! Maybe you should watch your son next time. Women's Center is offering FREE condoms and cookies... You should be grateful!

Avery B, I'm in love with your cartoons :) Keep it up yo!

Thank you to the Student Activities Council for always holding great events!

OMG!!! I just saw Security Officer "YAKUZA" today... Mmm.... Yum. Heard my friends talk bout um, but never saw um. I did today and should I say, Security Officer "YaCUTEza"! My friends call um YAKUZA for his tattoos! YUMMY!

We need more guys like Suit Guy. People like him say, "I feel like being unique, and I'm not afraid to show it." More power to you folks!

Thanks for admiring us guards. We don't bite, come say hi.

I am SO SICK of paying teachers to be audiotextbooks! P.S. Teacher, I hate your stupid low-def pics and lame jokes that have nothing to do with your lesson, but you still feel you have to take 15 min to explain why they're funny.

Suit Man: I love how you're smiling whenever I see you. It suits ;)

To the security guard who walks around the dorms at night, you are the hottest thing I've ever seen. :)

Dear Sam Gerweck, you are my everything. My sun, my moon. My reason to get up in the morning. I love you.

Editor's note: All Rants & Raves are submitted by readers, and do not reflect the views or beliefs of Ke Kalahea.